


a series of unfortunate misunderstandings

by alexanderendrone



Series: my quacknobros fics [7]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Gen, Hybrid Alexis | Quackity, Hybrid Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Minor Injuries, Mutually Unrequited, SBI family dynamics, ill add more character and relationship tags as i post, it feels rude to add them when they havent been introduced yet yknow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29077851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexanderendrone/pseuds/alexanderendrone
Summary: Quackity acquires a chicken, Techno learns the meaning of friendship, and Wilbur sees the perfect opportunity to fuck with his twin brother. Everyone loves relationship drama, right?--the long awaited marriage crackfic ft techno's chronic lack of social skills and the true meaning of 'mutually unrequited'the summary will probably change as i keep posting bc i feel weird talking abt stuff that i havent posted yet yknow as;kdlfjlsdkfj
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Series: my quacknobros fics [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2176197
Comments: 56
Kudos: 281





	1. quacknoblade is canon king

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saturn_anonymous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saturn_anonymous/gifts).



> there is a little character death (someone gets GOT but its not permadeath and it happens off screen so!)  
> anyways!! this is just the first chapter :D  
> you better appreciate the chapter title it was like the first thing i wrote and i still think its funny as fuck  
> ALSO SHOUT THE FUCK OUT TO SATURN ANON THEY HELPED ME DEVELOP SO MANY IDEAS PLEASE LOOK AT THE "#SATURN ANON" TAG ON MY BLOG THEY HAVE THE BIGGEST BRAIN <3

Quackity was once again running down the stairs to Pogtopia, despite his elbow still smarting from the last time he’d done so. He’d made it to the last flight of steps before an errant lantern sent him stumbling to the side, narrowly avoiding it’s swinging path, chain shrieking as it swung. 

_ What the fuck, was he in Home Alone now? _

He let out a panicked shriek as he tripped over the ledge, wings straining uselessly underneath his jacket as he fell. He heard the "uh oh" of a _certain teenager, fucking Tommy that little shit-_

He squeezed his eyes shut, preparing for the impact from the cold stone floor. Instead, he was met with strong warm arms and, when he peaked one eye open, Techno’s adorably confused face.

"Sorry, big man!" Tommy shouted from above, retreating quickly when Techno shot him a glare.

“Aw, Techie! You saved me!” Quackity cooed, ignoring Tommy, while he reached up to squeeze Techno’s cheek. He only succeeded in smacking him in the face when Techno abruptly let him go. He landed elbows first, because _of course he did_ , and he cried out. 

Immediately Techno was dropping down next to him, hands hovering anxiously as he looked him over.

“Are you alright? I didn’t think it was that far of a drop, do you need help?”

“All I need is you, baby.” Quackity chirped, rubbing his doubly injured elbow and batting his eyes at Techno. Techno just snorted, before leaning forwards, and _oh fuck_ , Quackity thought, _are we gonna kiss-_

He closed his eyes because kissing Techno was _weird_ but kissing him with his eyes open was _weirder_ , right? Probably. 

After a long beat of nothing, and Techno moving back away from him, Quackity opened his eyes. Techno was looking at him, confused, as he held Quackity’s beanie. He hadn’t even noticed it fall off in the kerfuffle that was his fall. 

Techno continued to stare blankly at him, so Quackity did what anyone else would do and snatched the beanie from him before running away without saying anything.

\--

The very next day Quackity had been walking around at night, armor and weaponless because he was too proud to admit he’d died and lost everything again. 

He hadn’t noticed the creeper approaching, too busy loudly lamenting his current situation to Mother Moon and the poor chicken he’d cornered (his name was Mr Quacks, and was Quackity's new best friend).

“ _Quackity! Watch out!_ ”

Quackity whipped around to the source of the shout, before being knocked on his ass. A flash of light and an explosion of noise followed, heat radiating off of the blast centre. 

When his vision cleared, Quackity saw Technoblade, standing in the middle of a fresh creeper hole, looking lightly singed.

“Are you ok?” Techno said, brushing debris off of his shimmering armor. Mr Quacks popped up from behind Quackity, squawking in something akin to concern.

“Are _you_ ok?” Quackity echoed, jumping to his feet before grabbing at Techno’s arms, spinning him around while looking for injuries.

“I’m fine,” Techno said, dismissive even as he let Quackity check him over. He scooped up the little chicken pecking at his feet, raising an eyebrow curiously when Quackity shot him a sharp look. He carefully tucked the feathered football under his arm.

He pulled out a golden apple, he didn’t _really_ need it, but it looked like Quackity did considering the smattering of cuts and bruises across him. He sliced it into quarters, offering half to Quackity.

Quackity, ignoring the apple and satisfied that Techno wasn’t going to die on him, draped his arms around Techno’s neck.

“My savior!” He cooed, batting his eyelashes at him.

Instead of commenting on it Techno shoved a quarter of the golden apple into Quackity’s mouth.

Quackity sighed as he chewed, before laying his head on Techno’s shoulder and leaning more into him.

“Just stand still for a bit, ok? I need to rest my eyes for a sec.” Quackity murmured after swallowing, the healing effect settling in and making him sleepy. Techno just hummed in response, looping his free arm around Quackity’s waist.

When Quackity went limp against him, Techno readjusted his hold so he could properly scoop him up in his arms, settling the chicken on Quackity. He huffed slightly in his sleep, but didn’t wake up as Techno started the long trek back to Pogtopia. 

\--

“He’s- he’s just kinda an ass, you know? Always fuckin- talking over me, and making decisions without me,” Quackity waved his arms around, desperate to get his point across. “I was his VP! And he treated me like shit!”

Techno listened silently, head tilted slightly and face contemplative as he listened to Quackity’s rambling. They were sitting on a cliffside, “checking the borders” in Techno’s words, “fucking around” in Quackity’s. 

It was a week after the Creeper Incident, or Creepcident, and Techno finally felt confident enough in Quackity’s gear that he wouldn’t die the second he stepped out of the ravine alone. 

But, it _was_ Quackity, so Techno decided to escort Quackity to wherever he was trying to go, after settling Mr Quacks with Tommy.

“And then he tried to tear down the White House, and I- I fuckin’ made that, I worked on that myself, and he wouldn’t listen to me! He tried to make me tear it down, and he wouldn’t listen to me,” Quackity sighed, tired and resigned. “So I left. I dunno- Guess I thought, I deserve better, y'know? Thought I deserved a president that actually listens and isn’t high on- on protein shakes.”

Quackity sighed again, falling back on the grass and throwing his arms out. 

“I’m glad you treat me right, Techie,” he said, looking up at Techno. The sunset back lit him, making him glow slightly at the edges, making him look ethereal and angelic.

“Don’t call me that,” Techno murmured, before laying down on his side, leaning close to Quackity. 

“What’re you gonna do about it?” Quackity snarked back, leaning closer to Techno, bumping noses with him.

Techno leaned closer, bumping their heads together and-

“Do you wanna kill Schlatt?” Techno whispered, and ok that was not where Quackity thought this was heading.

“Aw, man, I thought we were gonna kiss not plan a murder,” Quackity whined, shoving at Techno’s shoulder. Techno snorted and didn’t waver in the slightest but he did shoot Quackity a wide grin. 

It was an awful, stupid, terrible idea but Techno was grinning at him, haloed by the sun like his own angel of death, looking beyond delighted at the prospect of bloodshed and Quackity figured it would be criminal to do anything to get rid of that smile.

And that’s how he ended up on the back of a horse, both arms wrapped tightly around Techno as his slightly manic laughter echoed through Manberg. He hadn’t thought about how exhilarating it would be to be on the other side of a Technoblade hunt, sided with the _hunter_ and not the _hunted_. 

Quackity almost felt bad for Schlatt. 

_Almost_. 

Getting hunted by Technoblade was, and Quackity knew from experience, _fucking awful_. 

The looming man could appear and disappear at will it seemed like, moving silently through the shadows only to abruptly get the drop on you. It was something Quackity was very familiar with, considering it was what Techno did to get the drop on him during the tournament he first met Techno in. 

Obviously, Techno’s success over Quackity was due to his cheaty battle tactics and had absolutely nothing to do with Quackity’s own skill level.

Obviously. 

They’d settled into the woods near Manberg when Techno gracefully hopped off. He’d silently told Quackity to stay on the horse with a single raised hand as he disappeared into the deep shadows of the trees. 

Quackity wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting there, silent night punctuated with Schlatt’s shrieks and Techno’s cackle, and he wondered if it was better or worse being at a distance, hearing but not seeing.

He’d been spacing out slightly, absently patting a hand through the horse’s mane, when an arrow whizzed past him. 

It embedded in the tree by his head, narrowly missing him, and he shrieked, splitting the dead air in two.

He’d barely managed to scramble off the horse before another arrow flew, this one burying itself in his leg. Hot pain flared through his leg, sharp and _too_ _much_.

It was dark, and he couldn’t see anything, his attacker, a way to get out, _anything_. 

He could hear the sound of another arrow being nocked, and he desperately scooted backward, injured leg uselessly dragging on the ground. 

A beat of silence, the sound of an arrow releasing, and a deep grunt.

_Techno_ , haloed by the moon, a reflection of earlier, but instead of an angel of death, his guardian angel, arrow embedded in his chest. Techno blinked down at it, looking mildly irritated before pulling it out and letting it fall to the ground. 

He looked towards where the arrow had come from and Quackity couldn’t see who or what he was looking at, but Techno moved forward suddenly, the perfect picture of an apex predator as he lunged towards his prey.

There was a flurry of movement and sound before his communicator dinged.

_ Jschlatt was slain by Technoblade. _

Then Techno was back at his side, scooping him up and helping him back onto the horse. A drop of black ran down his chestplate, accentuated by random dark smears, and Quackity reached towards it, a silent question in his gesture.

“It’s barely a scratch, don’t worry,” Techno murmured, before settling behind Quackity on the horse, carefully holding him in place. “I might get a little blood on your jacket, though.”

“Don’t even worry about it, man.” Quackity snorted, leaning slightly back against Techno. “You helped me get back at Schlatt, that’s all that matters.”

Techno leaned forwards slightly, hooking his head over his shoulder and grabbing the reins of the horse. He bumped their heads together, before grinning wildly, and without warning they were off into the night, Techno’s carefree laughter echoing in their stead.

\--

They’d made it back to Pogtopia without incident, the biggest obstacle being getting down the shitty staircase unmarred. They’d already kind of failed, considering the arrow still sticking out of Quackity’s leg. 

They’d finally made it to Techno’s room, earning a confused look (Tommy) and eyebrow waggle (Wilbur). Techno could already hear Wilbur’s teasing, his twin more than delighted to make fun of his brother for any of his accomplishments including and not limited to, _making friends_. 

They’d settled onto the floor, Quackity’s bloodied leg stretched out in front of him and Techno kneeling next to the wound. 

It didn’t take long to patch up, the most harrowing part being the arrow removal. Quackity’d shrieked, which had earned a knock at the door from Wilbur, mocking tone clear through the thick wood as he told them to keep it down. 

Techno could feel his face turning red as Quackity waggled his eyebrows at him, but he ignored him in favor of making sure the wound was patched up properly.

Techno leaned forward, lightly bumping their heads together again. It reminded Quackity of earlier when he thought they were going to kiss, and then later on the horse; the gesture tickled at something in the back of his mind. Something about piglin mannerisms?

Abruptly, Techno’s door banged open, Wilbur barging in with a plate of potatoes and carrots cut into shapes, Mr Quacks tucked under his arm, the chicken looking furious about it.

Techno was confused but accepted the plate, placing it between him and Quackity. Didn't he leave Mr Quacks with Tommy?

Wilbur was wearing his most charming smile, which was  _ inherently suspicious _ and-

“Hi, Techno,” Wilbur practically cooed, ruffling Techno’s hair. Techno’s  _ Brotherly BS  _ alarm was steadily cranking louder in his head. “You two having  _ fun _ in here?”

Techno  _ hated _ the emphasis there,  _ what _ was he trying to imply-

“Anyways, I thought you’d like to see this, Quackity,” Wilbur started, charming smile still in place, with a more dangerous glint to it. He lightly placed Mr Quacks next to Quackity, the small chicken looking as furious as a bird could.

“Is it about taking down Schlatt?” Quackity questioned, picking at the carrots and collecting the ones shaped like stars. He lightly ruffled Mr Quacks, the little bird cooing at Quackity while side eyeing Wilbur.

Techno raised a questioning eyebrow, wondering what Wilbur did to piss off a chicken of all things, only earning a helpless shrug in response.

“Uhm- Not quite,” Ever the theatre kid, Wilbur dramatically produced a book from within his billowing coat, his beef with Quackity's chicken temporarily forgotten.

_ Bastard probably practiced, that was way too smooth, _ Techno absently thought about the theatrical way Wilbur whipped out the book, before he registered what exactly Wilbur was holding.

“Wilbur-” Techno started, warning clear in his voice as he reached for the scrapbook.

“What’s wrong, Techie? You don’t want Quackity to see your baby pictures?” Wilbur crooned, voice thick with fake innocence and sugary sweetness.

Techno wondered how mad Philza would be if he burned the book, the newly installed fireplace calling to him.

\--

They’d been sitting there for an hour, an  _ hour _ , Wilbur and Quackity cooing incessantly over Techno’s baby pictures. 

Techno was forcibly sandwiched between them, Wilbur’s lanky form draped over his left side, and Quackity’s head resting on his right shoulder. Mr Quacks and Wilbur seemed to have come to a temporary truce, as the latter showed off the photos.

The scrapbook was now balanced on Techno’s lap, Techno having long ago given in to Quackity’s begging and Wilbur’s insistence. It was a thick book, bound with leather and the cover shimmering slightly. 

Techno didn't doubt Philza had thoroughly enchanted it, despite it just being a copy. There was no way in hell Philza would let them have the real version, his most precious keepsakes never leaving his enderchest. 

Techno could fall asleep here, honestly, warm and comfortable, feeling safe with his twin on one side and Quackity on the other. 

Something must have given away his sleepiness, because Wilbur shifted slightly so Techno could tuck his head into the crook of his neck, voice going soft as he pointed at different pictures.

Techno wasn’t sure how long he sat there, face pressed into Wilbur’s neck, half asleep. 

He violently snorted awake as Wilbur jerked away abruptly, barely managing to catch himself before his face met stone.

_ Of course _ Wilbur had to ruin it, he’d never learned to savor the moment.

Wilbur just beamed down at him like nothing had happened, the scrapbook tucked under one arm. The smug face faded as Mr Quacks hopped to their feet, and Wilbur stepped away quickly.

“Well! I’m going to head out now, so you two have fun! But not  _ too _ much fun,” Wilbur said with a wink, before heading out the door, letting it shriek close behind him. He really should oil it, or whatever you did when a door sounded  _ like that _ .

Mr Quacks followed him closely, looking pleased that he'd managed to "chase" Wilbur out as the door shut. Quackity snorted before giving Mr Quacks an approving pat after he'd waddled back, tucking the small bird under his wing.

Techno scowled at the closed door, twisting to lay down across Quackity’s lap. Quackity’s hand instantly moved into his hair, carefully stroking it down. He cooed softly down at Techno, running his fingers through his hair and straightening out errant strands. 

“You really trust me, huh?” Quackity murmured, cooing in the back of his throat. Techno huffed as he twisted to curl around Quackity more.

“Your weak frail body makes me feel safe,” Techno murmured, half asleep again.

“Aw! Thanks, babe!” Quackity ruffled his hair, ruining his previous work, before immediately brushing it down again. 

Heh. Babe. Like the pig.

_ Babe. Like the term of endearment. _

Techno blinked rapidly, suddenly wide awake.

_ Oh no, oh fuck, wait- _

Did Quackity-

Did Quackity _like_ _like_ him? He knew they were friends but… The casual touches, the coddling, the _flirting, oh god the blatant flirting-_

_ He knew he was bad at social situations but- _

“Uhm, Quackity, listen- I’m, uh-” He stuttered as he looked at Quackity, huge brown eyes staring back at him, completely blank and uncomprehending. He couldn’t shatter this man’s heart, he’d never had a thought in his life.

“I’m gonna go spend the night in Wilbur’s room, bye!” He blurted out before sprinting out the door, tearing down Pogtopia's echoing halls. He barreled into Wilbur’s door and knocked frantically. 

The door whipped open quickly, Wilbur looking at him inquisitively and mildly concerned. He was wearing pajamas, looking more relaxed and happy than he’d ever seen him since Techno had arrived. 

He took one look at Techno before leading him into his room and nudging him until he sat on the bed. 

“What’s wrong?” Wilbur’s voice was soft as he pattered around his room, putting out candles and pulling out extra blankets. 

He tucked a soft fluffy red one around Techno’s legs before scooping up a blue flannel one for himself. He finally settled behind Techno, blanket draped like a cape around his shoulders, before carefully tugging Techno's hair out of its tie to rebraid it.

“My hair was fine before,” He grunted, knowing Wilbur  _ could _ braid hair but almost always chose to make a mess of it first. He insisted it was because he needed to ‘warm up’ but Techno knew it was because he liked playing with his long hair. 

Techno had suggested Wilbur grow  _ his  _ hair out if he liked playing with long hair so much, but Wilbur had brushed him off, talking about his  _ branding _ , and Techno figured it was another dramatic theatre kid thing he didn’t understand. 

He sighed loudly as Wilbur tugged at a strand of hair, prompting him to answer his question.

“I think… Quackity… He’s nice, yknow? Like, he’s alright. He’s a good guy, but-” He huffed, gathering the blanket Wilbur had draped across his lap in his hands. He let out an irritated noise, frustrated with how he couldn’t put his thoughts into words.

Wilbur didn’t push him to keep talking, a soft  _ take your time _ his only acknowledgement as he continued to play with Techno’s hair. He snatched up a brush from his bedside table, making sure to brush out every knot. 

“I- I don’t want- Let’s talk about something else. Please.” Techno scrubbed at his burning cheeks, he  _ hated _ talking, it was always so  _ difficult _ . Wilbur switched topics with a practiced finesse, never one to question his brother’s boundaries.

“Dadza got back to me!” He chirped, cheerful attitude washing away the stifling atmosphere. “He said he’ll be in the SMP within the week!”

“That’s good,” Techno smoothed out the blanket over his lap, drawing patterns into the fluff. “Tommy’ll be happy.”

“ _ Just _ Tommy?” Wilbur snorted, tugging at Techno’s hair again.

“Fine,” he grunted, “I’m excited to see Philza, too.”

“That’s  _ Dadza _ to you,” Wilbur snarked, digging his fingers into Techno’s side, hair braiding and brushing discarded in favor of messing with his brother. It was a losing battle, Wilbur knew, being pinned in an instant by Techno, who was barely concealing a grin. 

He smiled innocently up at Techno, batting his eyelashes for the added effect, but it only earned him a snort and fingers digging into his side. 

He choked on laughter, desperately batting Techno’s hands away, words dissolving into giggles.

“What’s wrong, _ Wilby _ , cat got your tongue?” Techno was grinning now, not even bothering to hide it. Wilbur’s laughter turned into a warning trill, unnatural in his (mainly) human throat. 

He was smiling though, as he made the noise again.

A knock sounded at the door, a half concerned half amused “Wilbur?” making its way through the wood. 

“Tommy! Come help me kick Techno’s ass!” Wilbur shouted, Techno distracted by the knocking and distress call. 

The door banged open barely a second later, Tommy barreling in and launching himself at Techno, delighted at the opportunity to mess with their older brother. 

Techno snorted.  _ They didn’t stand a chance. _

\-- 

Techno wasn’t sure how much time had passed, both of his brothers sprawled out on the bed around him. He was laid flat on his back, sandwiched between them.

He had Tommy in a loose headlock, the younger burying his face in the crook of Techno’s arm before whining that he was too tired to continue fighting. Wilbur was cradling Techno’s legs to his chest on the other side of Techno, half asleep. He’d tapped out long ago, only holding Techno’s legs at Tommy’s insistence, to ‘even the odds’. 

It hadn’t helped, clearly. 

Wilbur was humming under his breath, leg stretched across Techno’s body to nudge Tommy with a socked foot. Tommy bared his teeth, twisting as if to bite him, before being thwarted by Techno’s iron grip. Tommy huffed, flipping over under Techno’s arm and burying his face in his chest, leg coming to curl up around Techno’s waist.

Tommy kicked Wilbur, murmuring a smug  _ accident _ , and Wilbur scowled up at them, eyes still closed as he lifted his head to frown in Tommy’s direction. Wilbur shoved his way under Techno’s leg, resting his head on Techno’s opposite shin. There was no way he was comfortable, head resting on the hard plane of Techno’s leg and being crushed by Techno’s other leg, but he seemed happy. 

It also put Wilbur’s feet out of Techno’s face, so he definitely wasn’t complaining.

He let out a soft content rumble, earning two rumbles of varying pitch in return. They hadn’t quite gotten the hang of the  _ Happy Techno Purr _ but they were trying and it’s the thought that counts.

Techno exhaled quietly, reaching over to flick off the light and finally settling in to sleep.


	2. karl jacobs, couples counselor for hire (and obligatory beach filler episode)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beach ep pog  
> karl centric with a dash of karl&sapnap <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i removed philza from the character tags bc i thought he came in a lot sooner and i dont want to be weird lkadjsflksjlskj  
> im also trying to only tag ppl who are major to the chapter but niki does make an appearance :]

Karl blinked at the burning sun.

It was unbearably hot today. Dream had court ordered a beach party, and Karl had barely managed to escape from the ocean with his life, Sapnap trying to include his fiance in his rough-housing.

He’d abandoned George in his scramble for shore, but he definitely had more experience handling his boys, so Karl ignored his shrieks for help and tried not to feel _too_ bad. 

Karl could see the ice cream stand from here. It was being manned by Fundy and Niki, and if he could just make it across this swathe of sand he could get the sugary treat. The sun was beating down on him and he already knew sunburn was flushing his face.

But Quackity would _not stop talking_. 

“I mean, he’s a great guy, and I don’t want to make things weird. When he asked me to sleep in his bed, I was really surprised, right? Because he’d turned me down for a date when I first asked, but when I went to Pogtopia he was all nice and shit." Quackity's wings puffed up as he gestured, throwing sand into Karl's face. Karl spluttered, swiping the sand away from his eyes as Quackity blinked owlishly at him.

After a quick apology Quackity continued. "I don’t get it, but like, it’s fucking _Technoblade_. I have no idea what’s going on in that guy’s head. Half the time he’s really nice and sweet and the other half he’s tryna kill me.” 

Karl hummed absently, only half listening. The heat waves were interacting with his brain waves or some science shit and he couldn’t think. 

Quackity’s ramble continued as Karl stared longingly at the ice cream stand.

“Karl? Karl, babe, are you even listening to me?” Quackity knocked their shoulders together, pouting slightly at the blank look on Karl’s face.

“Wuh? Yeah I’m listening,” Karl stuttered slightly, shaking his head and feeling the sweat fly out of his hair. Based on Quackity’s face, he felt it too. Karma, Karl thought, for the sand.

“Well? What should I do?” Quackity leaned forward, face suddenly deathly serious. His wings fluttered nervously behind him, and Karl moved away from the sand splash zone.

“Uh, just like, talk to him, I guess,” Karl mumbled, “Listen, Quackity, I’m gonna go get some ice cream, all right?” 

Quackity pouted at him, before looking him over in concern.

“You look like you need it,” Quackity said, ruffling Karl’s shaggy hair that was damp with sweat. 

Quackity disappeared with a light head bump, something Karl assumed he’d picked up from Technoblade, and he resumed his quest across the barren wasteland. 

Well, it was just a few meters of beach, but between the sand in his swim trunks and the holes Tommy had dug everywhere, it seemed impossible to cross. Tubbo and Tommy were also whispering conspiratorially together while eyeing him, so he needed to get out of here, _fast_.

He made it another few feet before he was stopped by the man of the hour, _Technoblade_.

“Can I talk to you-” Techno started, stepping slightly in front of Karl.

“Nope.” Karl deadpanned, side stepping around the brick wall of a hybrid as he continued towards the ice cream truck. 

“Wait- It’s about Quackity,” Technoblade sounded nervous, and unsure of himself. Karl paused, because, well, if it was about _Quackity_ … The earlier conversation replayed in his head. 

He wasn’t entirely sure what he could do by talking to Technoblade but something needed to be done, the fucker lived in Quackity’s head rent free.

He turned around, a quiet _for Quackity_ escaping him. 

Karl was going to die of heatstroke. 

“He kind of- like he flirts with me _a lot_ , like a lot more than he does with other people?” 

He shifted into Techno’s shadow, nodding and pretending he was processing anything Technoblade was saying. 

“And, you know, there’s so many better people on the server he could be with- _befriend_ , I mean. Isn’t he technically _your_ fiance? Isn’t it weird he’s flirting with me?”

Karl was going to die here, dying from sun sickness as Technoblade monologued.

“Maybe you should talk to him about it,” Karl interrupted Technoblade, flinching slightly at the look that earned him. He _needed_ that ice cream, _now_.

Techno nodded contemplatively, though, expression smoothing out as he thought. 

“Maybe I should…” He murmured. With a pat on the back and a smile that had far too much teeth, Techno walked away. Karl sprinted to the ice cream stand, reinvigorated from the brief respite from the sun that Techno’s shadow had provided, and he tripped into the counter.

Niki looked mildly amused, having watched his progress across the beach. She wordlessly handed him an ice cream cone, and Karl crawled under the table, hidden from the sun by the tablecloth.

The sand was cooler here, kept out of the sun and damp. He exhaled as the sand leeched the warmth from him, leaning his head back until he bumped against Niki’s knees. She snorted as she looked down at him, patting him on the head before looking over the counter.

“Sapnap’s approaching.” She murmured, shifting slightly to accommodate Karl’s weight against her legs. “Have I seen you recently?” 

Karl silently shook his head _no_ , accepting another popsicle as Niki greeted Sapnap. He had an ice cream cone in one hand and a blue popsicle in the other, and this must be what heaven is like.

“Hey, Niki!” Sapnap shouted, far too energetic for someone who’d spent the better part of the day terrorizing anyone who dared step into the ocean.

“Hi, Sapnap.” Niki responded with a small smile, handing over an ice cream without prompting.

“Oh, thanks! I was actually looking for Karl? He said he was headed over this way when I last saw him.” Sapnap stepped closer, leaning slightly on the counter.

Karl’s elbow still smarted from when Sapnap had thrown him into the ocean, insisting they were playing Ocean Hockey. He had no clue what Ocean Hockey was, but he had seen Dream rapidly approaching and he knew he had to get out of there. 

He wouldn’t admit he’d run away to be protected by Niki, but he knew she’d lie for him, and the ice cream stand had shade from the sun. 

“Nope! Haven’t seen him, sorry!” She stepped back, reaching to grab another box of popsicles. Karl flailed slightly, barely managing to hide his squeak of surprise. 

There was silence as Sapnap and Niki stared at each other, Sapnap with one eyebrow raised as Niki schooled her face into a blank expression. The silent standoff dragged for too long, and Karl felt a sneeze coming on. 

“Can I help you with anything else?” She said finally. Karl could feel the tickle of the sneeze slowly building, and would Sapnap please just leave already. 

Sapnap squinted at Niki before beaming.

“Nope, I’m good!” He walked away, before turning towards her with a smile that was more of a baring of teeth.

“Thanks for taking care of Karl for me!”

Karl sighed, before sneezing obnoxiously loud. He'd forgotten Sapnap regularly hunted his friends for sport. 

Listen, sometimes you have to hide from your fiance, alright? It wasn’t a big deal. He was also very afraid of whatever Ocean Hockey was.

\--

It was Sapnap’s idea to make a bonfire, because of course Sapnap wanted a massive fire. 

It had started off small, but then he and Dream had gotten into a competition of who could stack wood the tallest without toppling it. Sapnap couldn’t help egging Dream on, something that came as naturally to him as breathing. 

The wood stack was huge at this point and Sapnap caught Karl’s eye around the pile. Karl called his name but he deliberately looked away, pretending to not hear him as he zoomed over to Dream.

“I still think we could have gone taller,” Sapnap said as he plopped on to the ground next to Dream, throwing an arm around his shoulder and pressing his chest to Dream's back. 

Dream just snorted as he threw a match into the pile, the paper steadily lighting up.

They watched as the fire really started catching, crawling up the sides of the pile of wood. The heat was flushing his face but he couldn't help leaning closer, only stopped by Dream pressing back against him.

He didn’t bother suppressing his grin, beaming over at Karl and gesturing at the fire before remembering he was supposed to be mad at him and looking away again. 

Sapnap draped himself more thoroughly across Dream, knowing Karl was still looking at him. He knew it wouldn’t make Karl _jealous_ to see him cozying up to Dream, but he also knew that Karl was chilly, evident by his slight shivering. 

Sapnap threw another look at Karl, and when they made eye contact, he curled around Dream more, resting his head on Dream's shoulder and mouthing at Karl ‘ _so warm_ ’. 

Dream seemed oblivious to whatever was going on, happily dragging Sapnap’s arms around him as he rambled to a tired looking Technoblade. 

Sapnap pulled away slightly, narrowly avoiding an elbow to the face from his expressive cuddle partner. Dream had a habit of talking with his hands, especially to cover for the lack of facial expressions, and cuddling with him while he was talking was just asking for trouble. 

They were sitting closer to the fire than was comfortable or probably _safe_ , really, but they both liked watching the wood burn. They let out twin shouts of delight when part of the bonfire collapsed inwards, clapping as glowing embers flew into the air.

After the fire settled again, Sapnap side eyed Karl, pouting and making sure Karl could see it. 

He watched Karl huff, loudly, before he started making his way over to where Sapnap and Dream were sitting. 

Karl sighed deeply before talking. 

“Sapnap, I’m very sorry for abandoning you earlier. I thought I was dying of heat stroke, and wanted to sit in the shade with a popsicle.” Karl didn't mention being terrified of whatever Ocean Hockey was.

Sapnap’s pout disappeared, arms shooting out to drag Karl into his embrace, cramming him between him and Dream.

“Are you alright? Why didn’t you say something?” Sapnap whined slightly, resting his head on the top of Karl’s. Dream turned towards him, looping an arm behind Karl’s back and rubbing it slightly.

“I didn’t want to ruin your game of Ocean Hockey.” Karl mumbled, feeling like a bit of an idiot now. What a lame excuse, who would even buy that-

“It was a good game of Ocean Hockey,” Dream said decisively, nodding seriously. 

Sapnap made a noise of agreement as his arms tightened around Karl.

Karl looked towards the stars as Sapnap and Dream recounted their intense game. He still had no idea what Ocean Hockey was.

\--

Techno headed down the stairs of Pogtopia, Dream’s court order dictating they only had to stay for the day, and Techno figured it counted as night now. He'd seen Sapnap and Dream competitively stacking wood, watched the lit pyre teeter dangerously, and decided he didn't want to get caught in the mess that would surely cause.

The air was stifling in the ravine, and weirdly humid. He was used to the stuffiness but combined with the heat it was unbearable.

He was still thinking about his conversation with Karl, the poor guy looking like he was dead on his feet, but Techno had needed to know.

_Was_ it weird that Quackity was flirting with him? He hadn’t accidentally stolen this guy’s fiance, had he? He hadn’t even been sure if they were _engaged_ engaged.

What if they _were_ engaged engaged? Happily together before Technoblade came along and unintentionally ruined whatever was happening?

Techno nodded decisively to himself. He needed to tell Quackity that nothing was going to happen between them, that he wasn’t interested in Quackity like that. 

That way, everyone would be happy, Quackity could go back to his fiances and Sapnap would stop giving him the stink eye. 

Apparently, Quackity had offhandedly said he was a better cuddler than Sapnap and Sapnap had taken that as a personal offense. He didn't want to deal with Sapnap's competitive nature, having been smothered in cuddles by him earlier as Sapnap wanted to "scope out the competition".

Techno continued through Pogtopia, before he tripped over a shirt on the floor in front of his door. He blinked, looking around him, seeing the trail of clothes he’d missed while deep in thought. 

He did _not_ like where this was going.

He opened his door anyways, figuring he may as well get whatever the fuck was about to happen over with, and was greeted with a half naked Quackity sprawled on his bed. 

Unfortunately, it was not an uncommon sight. Being on Techno's bed was new, though.

They stared blankly at each other, silence stretching uncomfortably long. 

There was probably a totally reasonable explanation for why Quackity was half naked on his bed. It was incredibly hot in the ravine, maybe he was overheating? This wasn't some weird courting thing, was it?

Finally Quackity awkwardly cleared his throat, shifting on the bed. This jarred something in Techno’s brain and he immediately started speaking.

“Listen, Quackity, you’re a really great guy, and it’s been fun but-”

“Are you breaking up with me?” Quackity interrupted, rolling onto his side and raising an eyebrow, looking amused.

_HE THINKS WE’RE DATING?_

Techno desperately tried to stomp down on his internal panic, he had to let Quackity down _easy_ , right?

“How do you feel about marriage?” He blurted out. _Fuck_. He cringed internally, he had _not_ meant to say that.

Quackity, on the other hand, looked overjoyed as he leaped out of bed and flung himself into Techno’s arms.

“I’d _love_ to get married,” he chirped, burying his face into Techno’s chest and missing the absolutely devastated look on Techno’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwuwuwuwuwuwuwu i love karl so much i hope i did well with this chapter.  
> also the beginning of the Mutually Unrequited Spiral :3c  
> tumblr @letsfluxshitup


	3. are ya winning son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DADZA'S FINALLY HERE <3  
> also more SBI family time bc i live for that sm

Philza was laughing. 

He’d barely arrived an hour ago and Technoblade was already incredibly done with having him around. 

Kind of. 

He'd missed him a little, _maybe_.

Techno had explained, from start to finish, why exactly he was engaged to Quackity, and Philza was hunched over, wheezing as he banged his fist on the kitchen table.

They'd gathered around the kitchen table, Philza insisting he needed to see all his boys together again.

“It’s not- It’s not _funny_ , Philza,” Techno deadpanned, desperately trying to keep the panic out of his tone. He leaned over the table, desperately trying to get his dad to stop laughing at him.

Philza sat up, wiping at the tears in his eyes.

“You’re right, you’re right, it’s not funny,” Philza said, mouth twitching as he desperately tried not to smile. 

“I mean,” Wilbur interjected, standing behind Techno's seat, “It is _a little_ funny.”

“Yeah!” Tommy agreed, “You’re gonna marry fuckin Quackity! And you proposed to him because you _panicked_ -”

“I knew you were bad with social situations, but this is a whole new level,” Wilbur added, draping himself over Techno and resting his head on Techno's. Techno watched in silent betrayal as Philza buried his head in his hands as he was overtaken by laughter again.

Tommy opened his mouth like he was going to continue, but Techno shrugged Wilbur off and dragged Tommy into a headlock. 

“You- shut up,” He shook Tommy slightly, before turning to look over his shoulder at Wilbur.

They squinted at each other, Wilbur looking smug as hell. 

“Are you gonna help me?” Techno asked, slightly desperate, already knowing the answer based on Wilbur’s cheshire cat smile. 

“Nope!” Wilbur popped the p, patting a wheezing Philza on the back as he walked towards the door. “I’d like to see how this plays out.”

He grinned at Techno, looking far too delighted by this turn of events, and Techno remembered why he hated everyone and everything.

\--

Philza burst through the door to Techno’s potato farm, looking flustered, Tommy hot on his heels. Techno silently pointed at the ‘No TommyInnit Allowed’ sign.

“Hey! That’s not fair! You just want to hog Dadza!” Tommy cried, clinging to Philza's robe sleeve.

“Dadza is _literally_ running away from you.” Techno deadpanned.

Tommy spluttered before looking at the disheveled Philza, who just gave a helpless shrug and ruffled Tommy’s hair.

“Sorry, kiddo, I gotta talk to your brother for a bit. Why don’t you go mess with Wilbur?” Philza dragged Tommy into a one armed hug and rubbing his cheek against the top of Tommy's head, before gently shoving him out the door. Tommy looked beyond delighted at the permission to fuck with his older brother.

“I didn’t want to hang with you old men, anyways!” Tommy shouted over his shoulder, and Techno made a note to make it up to Wilbur later. A hyper TommyInnit was not someone you wanted to deal with alone. 

Philza adjusted his robes, before stepping out the door and closing it.

Barely a breath later, he opened it again, a big grin on his face.

“Are ya winning, son?” Philza practically trilled, beaming.

Technoblade sighed, deeply, before finally letting out a curt ‘ _yes_ ’, trying to muffle his snort. 

Philza went to sit on a chest, settling down with a sigh before patting the space next to him. Mr Quacks, who had been roused from his slumber on the chest by the mentioning of a certain  _ w-i-l-b-u-r _ , clucked approvingly. 

Techno honestly had no idea what Wilbur had done to piss Mr Quacks off so much. The feeling appeared to be mutual, the pair shooting death glares at each other when in the same room. 

Wilbur had adamantly refused to explain his rivalry with Quackity's pet chicken, insisting that Techno wouldn't get it. And he was right. Mr Quacks was a chicken, how could he possibly have beef with  _ poultry _ ?

Techno shoved himself under Philza’s right arm, tucking himself into his side while facing his head away, pretending he wasn’t cuddling. He reluctantly patted Mr Quacks's head, the small chicken butting his head against Techno's hand.

Philza snorted before stretching to rest his cheek on top of Techno’s head. Philza draped the rest of his limbs across Techno, including his wings, and Techno allowed himself to be swallowed by the feathers and robes. 

“Are you having a good time?” Philza murmured, half cooing as he rubbed his cheek against Techno’s head. 

Techno huffed, he wasn’t a _child_ , thanks. 

“Right now? You’re kind of choking me.” He mumbled, before turning to bury his face in Philza’s chest. “‘S alright. The people here are nice.”

“That’s good. Wouldn’t want to have to get the belt.” Philza hummed, squeezing Techno against him. 

Techno snorted, before giving in to the hug and wrapping his arms around Philza. He squeezed him until Philza let out a pained wheeze, before pulling away with a smug smile.

Philza lightly bumped their heads together, before settling his cheek on top of Techno’s head again.

Techno tucked his face against Philza’s chest properly, scooting down and off the chest to half kneel on the floor so Philza could properly wrap his arms and wings around him. 

He sighed, before clearing his throat slightly, feeling safe in the cocoon of warmth and feathers.

“I’m glad you came when you did. Wilbur’s been a bit… Off. I think this whole L’Manberg thing is gettin’ to him.” 

Philza hummed, moving a hand to run through Technoblade’s loose hair. Mr Quacks wedged himself more firmly under Techno's hand, echoing Philza's soft coos.

“Yeah, that sounds like our Wilbur. Never knew how to not give his all into something. Do you think I should talk to him?”

“I’m not sure. I think you being here is already helping keep him grounded, but I dunno. He’s not like me, he actually _likes_ talking about his feelings and stuff.” Technoblade snorted, shifting slightly before leaning back and looking at his father. 

Philza looked tired, shadows under his eyes deep, a nigh permanent side effect of having so much responsibility piled on to him over the years along with the pressure of his hardcore life. According to him, being a single father wasn't easy, but he wouldn't trade it for the world.

He seemed happy, now though, and relaxed as he stared back at Techno, looking vaguely amused as his son was lost in thought. 

Philza knocked their foreheads together, bringing Techno back to the present. 

“Looks like Wilby’s not the only one having trouble staying grounded. You alright in there?” 

“I’m fine.” Techno responded automatically, before caving to his father’s questioning eyebrow raise. “It’s just- I dunno. Everything’s a lot, with Wilbur and Tommy and… _Quackity_.”

“Do you not want to marry Quackity?” Philza asked seriously, studying his son’s face.

“I- I’m…” He flinched away from his father’s gaze, shoving his face against his chest again. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Ok.” Philza cradled his son’s head to his chest, content to sit in the warm silence of the potato farm.

Techno knew Philza would follow up later, ever the problem solver. For now, he let himself relax, nearly falling asleep to Mr Quacks and Philza's soft cooing.

\--

"Ok!" Philza clapped, gesturing at his kids (+ Mr Quacks and Tubbo (who was practically his kid, at this point)) sitting around the kitchen table. "We've gotta help your brother with his _situation_."

"We all know Techno struggles with social situations," as if to prove his point, Philza gestured towards Techno, who had his head buried in his arms and Mr Quacks perched on his head.

"A bit more than _struggles_ ," Wilbur mumbled, absently picking at the kitchen table. The tablecloth that would have protected it from Wilbur's restless hands had been lost to time, and a small fire that Tommy ' _had nothing to do with, I swear!_ '.

Mr Quacks fluffed up slightly, squawking at Wilbur's voice, who held up his hands in surrender. 

Philza had no idea what was going on between them, but according to Wilbur they'd reached a _very temporary_ truce to help Techno. 

He hadn't asked how Wilbur was communicating with Mr Quacks, having learned long ago questioning Wilbur would only lead to a headache at best or getting dragged along with his schemes at worst.

"Any suggestions?" Philza asked, smoothing out a piece of paper in front of him, quill in hand. Someone needed to keep track, knowing they'd all forget their ideas the second they said them, and Philza was cursed with legible handwriting. 

"We could kill him!" Tubbo blurted out instantly, earning a slap on the back and cackle of agreement from Tommy.

"Yeah! We could rob him! And he'd never marry Techno after that!" Tommy seemed way too excited about this idea, and Philza worried he'd picked up some _murderous tendencies_. 

To be fair, he'd fit in perfectly with the rest of them, but he could only handle so many trigger happy kids.

"It won't work," Techno mumbled into the table, missing their soft tablecloth. "I've killed him multiple times, and that was _before_ I- before all of _this_." 

Techno seemed to slump more into the table, Mr Quacks pecking at his hair in what could be interpreted as a soothing gesture. 

"We won't kill him, don't worry." Philza murmured, rubbing Techno's back soothingly, winking obnoxiously at Tommy and Tubbo, the kids sharing twin grins of delight. Robbing never killed anyone, right?

\--

Apparently, Tommy and Tubbo's brand of robbing killed people. _Several_ people, Tommy and Tubbo included. 

Quackity had easily laughed off the attack, ruffling Tommy's hair and loudly proclaiming "just how I taught you, yeah?"

Philza sighed. Back to the drawing board then.

\--

It was later that day, and they were settled around the table again. 

Wilbur sat opposite Techno, having a staring contest with Mr Quacks. Did chickens even blink? This one definitely didn't.

Techno's head was resting on the table again, this time tilted slightly to look at Philza.

"Do I even want to know?" Techno groaned, gesturing towards Tommy and Tubbo's conspicuously empty seats and his communicator that was buzzing so hard it was teetering on the edge of the table. 

"Nope!" Philza chirped, before turning to Wilbur. "You got any ideas cooking up in that big brain of yours?" 

"Don't inflate his ego anymore, it's big enough." Techno interrupted, tilting his head slightly to bare his teeth at Wilbur.

Wilbur seemed unphased, adjusting his circular glasses. Techno silently thought they made him look pretentious, but he wanted Wilbur to help him.

"Your glasses make you look cool." Techno deadpanned, sending slightly pleading eyes towards Wilbur.

"I'm not going to help you," Wilbur immediately responded, settling back in his chair with an amused look on his face, hands steepled on the table in front of him.

"Your glasses make you look stupid then," Techno snarked, baring his teeth again. Mr Quacks stood up from his resting place on the table, taking a single step towards Wilbur. 

Wilbur and Mr Quacks stared at each other intensely, gazes unwavering and strong. Wilbur leaned over his steepled hands, never breaking eye contact with Mr Quacks, as the chicken settled in front of him.

The silence dragged on for an unbearably long time, Philza sending a helpless and confused look towards Techno. Techno just shrugged in response, resting his elbow on the table and his head in his hand, watching whatever this was play out.

Finally, Wilbur let out one decisive nod.

"Fine. I'll take one for the team." Wilbur stood from the table, dramatically flinging his chair back. "I'll ask Quackity out."

"How will that help?" Techno felt his face scrunch and his voice jump, too confused to bother keeping up any sort of cool facade. 

"I'll make him want to marry me instead, and he'll break it off with you." Wilbur said determinedly, fist resting in palm, looking incredibly self assured and proud of himself.

_There was no way this'll work_ , Techno thought, but there was also no way he wouldn't let Wilbur make a fool of himself.

\--

Wilbur barreled into his bedroom, coat thrown dramatically into the corner and mascara streaking down his cheeks. He let out a dramatic sob as he threw himself down onto his bed, wailing loudly. 

Techno blinked slowly at him, adjusting the reading glasses perched on his nose. He knew he was technically in Wilbur's room, but did he really have to interrupt his reading time?

"Should I get Philza?" He asked carefully, reaching for his communicator. Wilbur just responded with a noise of distress, burying his face in Techno's worn pants, effectively smearing mascara all over them.

Techno set a quick _SOS_ to Philza as Wilbur let out another forlorn wail.

It didn't take much to get the story out of Wilbur, Philza settling on the bed and dragging his son into his lap, tucking Wilbur's watery eyes into his neck.

Apparently Wilbur hadn't even gotten to a first date with Quackity, having been rejected almost immediately.

"He just doesn't appreciate the finer things in life," Philza soothed, rubbing Wilbur's back, "He was probably intimidated by how handsome and charming you are."

"You're right," Wilbur sniffled wetly, "I am very handsome and charming. Keep complimenting me." 

Wilbur wailed again when Philza hesitated, Philza stuttering out more praise in response. Techno was glad he could just sit here and watch, not having to be dragged into whatever this was.

But then Philza shot him a slightly desperate look over the top of Wilbur's head, and Techno sighed softly.

"He's just intimidated because you're so tall and smart." Techno deadpanned, pretending he wasn't still slightly salty at the inch of height Wilbur had over him. 

"Really?" Wilbur whimpered, eyes still brimming with tears.

" _Really_ ," Techno echoed, "his smarts and his height are the two things he's most sensitive about." 

Wilbur scrubbed at his eyes, nodding firmly.

"You're right," he said firmly, struggling out of Philza's arms. "I'm smart and tall, and strong- and independent- and I don't need Quackity to feel good about myself!" 

Philza nodded quickly, elbowing Techno to agree as well.

"You're so right," Techno deadpanned, halfway supportive, as he picked up his book again. 

Wilbur plucked a makeup wipe off his dresser, scrubbing at the mascara smudged across his face. Techno tilted his head slightly towards Philza, gesturing silently at his brother, eyebrow raised, silently saying  _ the mascaras new? _

_ No idea when that started _ , Philza's shrug said back. Thankfully, they'd mastered the art of silent communication long ago, to an almost telepathic extent. It was good for combat and also literally talking about people behind their back.

It didn't really matter that much, and Techno went back to his book, ignoring Wilbur whining about him being in his room.

\--

_And then there was one_ , Philza thought as he sat at his makeshift desk. He'd cobbled together a room in Pogtopia, and had been assured by a delighted Dream a proper house was well on the way. 

Dream was very fond of Technoblade, despite Techno's insistence they were barely acquaintances, and Dream was overjoyed to get a house built for Techno and his family. 

Philza, having read Techno's letters, thought they had a much colder relationship. He was beyond delighted to find out Dream had declared himself Techno's _very good friend and rival_.

He was glad Techno had found people, and Philza made a mental note to visit more often. After they took care of this Jschlatt fellow, hopefully things would settle more. Dream had assured him the house would be built in 'neutral territory', which was nice of him.

Silently, Philza was a little disappointed he wouldn't get to squabble with this alleged dictator over property lines, the steady thrum of bloodlust buried under his fatherly exterior. His kids got it from somewhere, after all.

What was he talking about? Right, break Quackity and Technoblade up. He could do that. Nothing weird about a father breaking up with his kid’s fiance for him, nothing weird about that at all.

\--

Philza's wing shot out, cutting off Quackity's exit.

"Hey, mate, can we talk for a sec?" He gave Quackity his most disarming smile, but that did nothing to dissuade the terrified look in his eyes. He let his wing settle back against his back, looping an arm around Quackity's shoulder and dragging him along without waiting for a response

Quackity stuttered uselessly as his mind caught up with what was happening, excuse dying on his tongue as Philza shot him a sharp look. 

Philza dragged them out of Pogtopia, effortlessly scaling the stairs that Quackity still tripped on. They walked for a bit before settling at the top of a cliff, where Techno and Quackity usually met up.

Philza settled on the edge, legs dangling over the side. He patted the ground next to him, raising an eyebrow at Quackity's hesitance. 

Quackity prayed silently that if he fell his wings would magically work perfectly, or at the very least he'd hit the ground before Philza could catch him. Having to be saved by another winged hybrid because he'd never learned to fly would be _embarrassing_ , ok? Especially if he was your fiance’s dad.

"Quackity… listen, mate, sometimes things just aren't meant to be, right? Sometimes it's best to just live and let go, y'know?" Philza gestured broadly, staring off into the horizon. 

"Sometimes you and your fiance just need a little space, and then it turns into a lot of space, and then she finds a new fancy smart fridge model, and maybe they're more compatible because they're the same species? And you don't know where you really went wrong or how you got into this relationship with your fridge, but now you have to break up with your fridge, and explain to your kids that she has to go." Philza looked perplexed for a second before he continued. 

"And maybe things are kind of rocky for a while, and now your kids are regularly committing war crimes and you can't help but wonder if it's because they didn't have a lot of stability in their life, but you still have WORTH as a person you know??"

Philza exhaled loudly, turning away from Quackity as he patted at his eyes.

"Uhm. Mr Minecraft? Are you ok?" Quackity squeaked out, hands fisting in the grass underneath him. _What the fuck was happening?_

"No," Philza responded bluntly.

"Ok," Quackity carefully patted his shoulder. "Sorry?"

"I think you should walk away now," Philza said quietly, staring off into the sunset, face weirdly blank and streaked with tears.

Quackity didn't have to be told twice, immediately leaping up and sprinting towards Pogtopia.

\--

Quackity jumped when the door to Techno's room swung open, hitting the wall with a loud _bang_.

"What did you do to my dad?" Techno demanded, looking flustered as he stormed towards Quackity. "Why'd you make him cry? _How'd_ you make him cry?"

"I didn't make your dad cry! He did that to himself!" Quackity shrieked, holding up Mr Quacks between them. "And no fighting in front of the baby!"

Techno exhaled slowly, looking down at Mr Quacks. The chicken looked completely unaware of anything that was happening, looking cuddly and warm in his little sweater. 

Techno didn't want to think about the logistics of putting a chicken in a sweater, but he seemed happy. And he looked very cute. He should make him some little booties- _Wait, focus, Quackity traumatized Philza-_

"Quackity." Techno tried again, voice even. "What did you do to Philza?"

"I dunno! He was talking about a fridge? I have no idea… should I apologize?" Quackity looked at Techno nervously, the absolute last thing he wanted to do was talk to Philza again.

"No! Don't talk to him again," Techno barely caught himself from shouting again. "I think you broke him."

Quackity just heaved a tired shrug, cuddling Mr Quacks to his chest again. Techno settled down on the floor next to them, resting his head on Quackity's shoulder as he pet Mr Quacks.

"He'll sort himself out. Probably. Maybe." Techno muttered to himself, cursing the lack of a therapist on this server. Maybe he could sicc Karl on him? Karl had helped him, albeit reluctantly.

“So- wait, is the fridge like- a metaphor, or?”   
  


Techno blinked slowly at him before starting to get up to presumably leave.

"Wait! Tommy's been working on a tie for Mr. Quacks to wear to the wedding," Quackity said suddenly, brandishing Mr. Quacks like the cute weapon he was. "So he can match his dads."

"I'm not his dad," Techno mumbled, patting Mr Quacks on the back and settling back down.

"Not yet," Quackity mumbled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello this chapter has some of my favorite bits in it like; wilbur and mr quacks's rivalry, wilbur being devastated quackity rejected him, PHILZA MY BELOVED, and a pinch of quackity&techno interaction  
> tumblr @letsfluxshitup <3  
> (also im totally chill with ppl making stuff based off of this like art or ficlets or whatever just dont be funnier then me /j <3)  
> EDIT: i think this will be the last chapter until like, next week? because i need some time bc of school :]. so this all is kind of like a Part One yknow


End file.
